Love, Die, Live and Love again

As with all journeys we are touched by our own humanity...Whether it be a connection with someone half way around the world whom we never knew we could have a connection with or someone here at home.

Before I left I learned of yet another dear friend who had been diagnosed with the most dreaded of diseases I have come to hate.

Cancer

Thud! There it goes again.

So, as I am checking my email in Turkey...I break down at my computer because I hear more scary news instead of hopeful news from the other side of the world. They found more masses and it may be worse than we thought.

Angela asks me if I am okay and walks across the room to give me a hug. I cry that I am tired of losing so many loved ones to cancer and cannot stand the thought of standing by hopelessly as I watch them fade away.

After returning home I receive the news that it was not as bad as orignally thought...I breath a sigh of relief...

Then the real ax falls.
Two weeks after I return I begin to notice that our beloved Abyssinian cat who has been beautiful and healthy since we adopted him at the age of 10 is hiding in the closet, not eating as well and what he does eat ends up on the living room carpet. He begins to lose weight...I begin to panic. We have been to the vet several times without resolution to his deteriorating condition. They send me for an ultrasound. They tell me they are going to shave his tummy, lay him on his back and run the test to see what they can find. I leave to walk down the street and rid my mind of my fears. I get the call to come back.
The specialist walks in and says...I have very bad news. Bene has CANCER in his intestine the size of my thumb. My mind is screaming as I try to remain calm enough to ask the questions I need to so I can explain this to my beloved husband Steven.  We love Bene...he can't die! Not another...not one more!!!

This has been my journey. My incredible journey. To live, to love and to hold the hands and paws of those who fall to this dreaded disease.

Bene passed away only 3 1/2 weeks after being diagnosed on July 23rd. Beth lasted 1 1/2 years, Nick only a couple of weeks, Aunt Marnie fought for her life over a year.

All of them were beautiful...All of them I loved. All of them I miss.

I hate cancer...

But...we love, they die and we learn to live and love again.